


The Mind Is A Cruel, Cruel Thing.

by Willcraftapple11



Series: Misfits at Hogwarts [3]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: #savethissmolbean, Canon-Typical Prejudices, Death Munchers mention, Each Chapter is a new entry, Gen, Journal Entry type story, Misfits Of Hogwarts, Murderous Idiots, Rating May Change, Runes, Sad, Short updates, Slytherin, Snakes, Unreliable Narrator, set in Deathly Hallows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-01-27 22:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12591608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willcraftapple11/pseuds/Willcraftapple11
Summary: The journal of a 16 year old Slytherin muggleborn who knows enough about runes and wards to give her enemies a small case of the death. Set in the Deathly Hallows.Part of Misfits At Hogwarts, a series.Updates weekly on a random day.





	1. Chapter 1

Jan 3rd, 1998

  It is January 3rd, the Carrows won’t let anyone go home, and I still haven’t found a way to get out of this while bringing my friends with me too. I-I cannot carve anymore anymore runes into the sheer foundations of my commons without finding the Lodestone of Hogwarts and seeking understanding from that. I’ve been switching robes between a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff to keep well away from the bloody murderous idiots that seem to have taken this this Regime up gleefully.

_Disgusting. Dont they Know what a true Slytherin is like? ~~We don’t take this stuff lying down. Disgraceful. Fools, the lot of them.~~_ ~~_~~Burn th~~ em burn   themBurenTHEMFORDARINGTOTHREATENADUBOIS’CHOSENHOWDARE  _~~

~~_I I dont know what caused me to write that, my last name isnt Dubois._ ~~

~~_Its Apples. It doesnt make sense. why did i write that._ ~~

 Professer Snape, he he he doesn’t seem like he cares but he does. He cares for his snakes and so lets me and Maggy, the only other muggleborn in my house, hide away in the other other houses without, y’know, reporting us to mcdeathtoeverything waging war against scarboy and the others. I haven’t gotten sleep, I need it, but I also need to find the Lodestone like yesterday. Please Hogwarts. Throw me a a bone. Delphi is somewhere. I dont I dont know where she is. Whered River go, too? I know, I know that Riley’s fine. I saw her the other day in the library with with Professor Jinn. I wonder what they were talking about-- they seemed tired and grim, but mostly tired. I hope that they get some sleep, it helps. With concentrating on stuff and the like, y'know? Me? Whatever. 

I'll update tomorrow.


	2. Jan. 4, 1998

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She combs, searching Searching these halls of stone and emptiness. She looks and looks but never finds the thing she seeks. Welcome To Hogwarts.

Jan 4th, 1998

  I have been combing these halls and walls and all that is is here for hours but I have been going in circles, circles. I found this trapdoor on the third floor that seemed promising but it only led to a chessboard and a mirror. The mirror had nothing in it when I looked. Nothing but the stones and steps behind me. Weird, but I cannot worry about that sort of stuff. I need. I NEed to find the Lodestone. Where is it where. Classes start back tomorrow and I wont wont be able to continue searching freely until Friday night. I don’t want to go back to class. Not when I cant find my friends and not when the Carrows work here. Im so glad I only have to deal with whats his name once a week. I’m in the kitchens an Whispy gave me some food as I sit here, updating this stupid thing. _~~Why do I even write this, it doesnt matter nothing does~~ _ in other news I still need to scour the basements and upper levels for the Lodestone of this place. It must be somewhere. I’ll be a ‘puff for tonight and tomorrow if only because I dont need to move far. I love these Elves here in the kitchen. They're so friendly and awesome. I love them. If I can't find the Lodestone on my own, I might ask them if they know where it is. The servants of anything know All, after all. No seriously they know basically everything in the house that they work in. It's how a lot of spies get information, if they are part of the serving staff, theyre functionally Invisible. Its cool.

It’s almost curfew.

Will update on the morrow.


	3. Jan 5, 1998

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will gets her schedule and laments the Carrows.

**Jan 5, 1998**

Just got new schedule. I hate it.

Double History of Magic on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday first thing and then Herbology followed with a fun romp in Arithmancy for the rest of the day. Joy. Not really, since I’m like the only student to have Arithmancy and Runes classes anymore-- most of the Ravenclaws are gone.

Hell most of the students are gone! I dont know where they went where where did they go. I think, maybe, that they were part of the DA….? Maybe, I never joined. Since I was a bit busy delving into everything runes had to offer me, glorious, glorious runes. The answer to everything and what will let me purge this school of those horrid people.

And on Fridays I get Dark Arts with mcpaininallofourbutts. This is actually a lot better than last semester. Since last semester I had mctorturehappy like three times a week. I got sooo many detentions my hands shake slightly when I don't use them! Why universe why. I hate him, he’s a bad teacher, and he uses immoral tactics! Which isn’t surprising considering that he’s one of Moldyshort’s gang but nyehhhh.

Today was uneventful, really, considering the hoohah that usually goes on in this circus gym.

See me tomorrow, me


	4. Jan 7, 1998

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some crucios are thrown.

Jan 7, 1998

I lied. I didn’t have enough _time_ to update this thing yesterday. Professor Septima had me busy with things like _calculus_ and practical applications of arithmancy to runes. Which was fun and all but this sort of stuff is for 5th and 6th years, apparently.  Then she gave me a worksheet for homework--which was really easy-- and set me free for the 5 hours left before curfew, which I used to do a cursory search of the 7th floor and then a slightly more indepth look. I didn’t find the Lodestone but I did find this really cool tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Mem: use this as a thinking place possibly? Not many people actually _go_ to the seventh floor anymore… since they don’t have classes up here. It’s lonely.

Today I caught up on sleep in History of Magic and threw a well-constructed argument as to the ethics of the Goblin Wars and our treatment of other races at Binns. I think he made his lecture that much more droning and repetitive in response. I Hate Him. He will rue the day he started to use incorrect resources! This feud will never bloody end! Though I think he may be just as fired up as me over history! Sometimes. When I’ve thrown a particularly enraged piece of writing at him that dresses down his resources thoroughly. It was fun. At least when I was awake. Then I just slept. 

Herbology was just as futile as the last class, and the one before that. I think Miss Sprout has given up on me, since she just had me dole out fertilizer to the plants in the second year greenhouse. I try, I really really  _ try _ to be good at this. But with the things going on and everything, I I’m distracted. I need to go sleep, Luna’s letting me nab her bed. Todays riddle was ‘I am nothing, yet I am everything. What Am I?’ the answer was ‘A Paradox’ which actually was a nice riddle, even though it was really really easy to figure out. Bob’s nice like that. 

Good night me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the gap hour wise between updates! Im in class rn so I didnt have the time to actually update with both chapters at once!  
> See you next week!!!!  
> And the door knocker's name on Ravenclaw tower is Bob.  
> Which is a perfectly acceptable name!


	5. Jan 8, 1998

Jan 8, 1998

Everything hurts. owowow why did I have to open my big, fat mouth?

I got detention with mcpainman. He is evil. I h a t e him.

‘Prolonged Exposure to the Cruciatus Curse may lead to insanity, nerve damage, comas, death, and seizures.’ That doesn’t help me book.

Give me like a recipe or something for a potion to help counteract the damage that this stupid curse does to the body. Useless. I’m gonna go sit in the kitchens and stew in front of the fire with a bottle of Butterbeer until curfew again.

Ow. the lingering pain is like that time my appendix did a Langley and betrayed me, but worse somehow.

Prolly cuz it causes literally All of your nerves to be lit on fire with pain at the Same TIme. It sucks.

Maybe I should, I dunnoo… stop going to his bloody classes. I mean it’d help with my copious nerve damage that I probably have that Im not gonna bring to madam Pince cuz i really really dont wanna be a bother. She has enough to do with the other kids, she doesn’t need to be bothered by someone like me.

Whatever.

I didnt go exploring tonight.

Cuz detention.

Good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cookie to anyone who guesses where the reference came from and what the reference is.


	6. Jan 9, 1998

Jan 9, 1998

HOLY HERA DELPHI HAS A PET BASILISK. SHe’s ok!!!

I mean the basilisk scared the bejeezus outta me but still SHES OK AND I AM HAPPY!!!

The reason I know this is because Basil (the basilisk had a Name tag! So cute.), upon recognizing me, gave me a letter from Delphi!! It was the normal cautionary hooblah from her and instructions to get clear if I am in serious danger for my life but I cant leave these people without any sort of protection!

This is, like, most of the reason I even  _ want _ to find Hogwarts’ Lodestone! With it I can negotiate with already preexisting wards and make them stronger and add my own so stuff like this Never Happens EVer AGAIN!!! I’m gonna go search the first floor now! I am fired up!!!!!

 

9 PM-

NOthing. 

NOthing.

Nothing .

NOTHING.

I have searched every bloody floor of this bloody castle and I have not fffricking found a Single Bloody Hint as to where the hell the Lodestone is! The only  _ logical _ next step is to search the grounds but any warder worth their salt knows not to shove the Lodestone--the thing that holds Everything together-- somewhere easily gotten to by any potential betrayers or the like! 

It’s simple logic! I mean, from a tactician's standpoint. Who also happens to be a muggle.

Considering the magic and the lack of logic it sometimes leads to, I think I can understand as to why someone would shove the thing that protects them all into a forest full of kinda deadly things if you’re rude. 

… I miss Delphi. I really, really do. 

Ill update as usual. Probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooner or later the chapter updates won't be day-by-day. If only because it's hard coming up with stuff to fill a diary with for like 3 months or whatever until the Final Battle of death, destruction, and snake man dying the death he bloody deserves.  
> See yall next Wednesday!


	7. Jan 11, 1998

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IT WAS SCHOOL BREAK AND I *FORGOT*  
> TAKE THE MILDLY LATE UPDATE AS A HEARTFELT APOLOGY  
> *runs away*

Jan 11, 1998

It’s honestly kind of annoying and tedious, writing every single day. So I guess I’ll just update this thing whenever I have something  _ important _ to report! Either way we did school stuff or whatever. Professor Septima gave me this really  _ really interesting book, well its really a tome, but whatever.  _ It has stuff in it like how to curse people with incontinence for the rest of their worldly lives and then even more besides. Oo and heres one that only requires you to have some basilisk venom and hide on hand to give your enemies a mild case of death! 

….

I don’t think she meant to give me this with these recipies for wards and good ol’ curses in the book still.

Oh well, heh.

I’ll see you again book when I bother to poke you! 


	8. Feb 14, 1998

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will has never sworn before this moment.  
> May the Carrows burn in HELL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck the carrows.  
> poor poor unnamed cat, we hardly knew ye.  
> yall might get to know said cat If i ever *cough* write a fic for a couple of years ago *cough*

Feb 14, 1998

I’m gonna kill the carrows.

They,--

The bastards.

How could they.

Right in front of-

Why.

WHy did they kill my cat.

They fuckin, they fucking killed my cat.

For no damn reason. Except perhaps cuz she was purring to loud or some stupid reason. I dont fucking know.

I swear upon the foundations of this bloody castle that those  _ bastards _ will pay.

Thank the nonexistent lord that I still have that Really Good Tome Professor Septima gave me!!

Now where the fuck do I get basilisk venom.

Will update eventually. 


	9. Feb 22, 1998

Feb 22, 1998

I just got a letter from the wonderful uncle that is Renny. Apparently he’s noticed how the, well, how the  _ everything _ in England, home of the fucking racist blight upon the Slytherin name that is Voldemort, the stupid dictator of our time, how the atmosphere is. Which is a thick haze of death and terror. 

I’m just gonna paste the entire letter into this journal with a sticking charm because I dont know.

Here, future me or one of the Misfits, cuz there isnt a snowball’s chance in Heck that I’d give this journal to anyone else and even then it’d be a hard sell after a very very long struggle and you slipping some sleeping potion into my drink like last year,  _ River. _  I know I was on a severe caffeine high with that espresso blend that Ren gave me, but still. Not cool.

_____________________________

Will,

So my little niece who will do some smashing great things in life. I have, on my wanderings throughout Europe and parts of Italia, noticed the political and social atmosphere and the way it’s shifting in England so I have, in my endless wisdom, decided to flee the country before something snaps and people start dying even more than they have with that bridge a while back. I won’t be able to contact you a lot so don’t panic if I go months or even years without responding to any letters or giving any indication that I’m alive. Keep doing your thing kiddo, fleece those fool snakes to within an inch of their lives and live.

See you maybe sometime in the future, 

Your loving Uncle.

______________________________________________

Yeah. He’s weird sometimes. Like that time he sent me a paper chameleon with the word ‘Leon’ scrawled across it in bright yellow ink. It seems that he’s gone to dirt, which is actually a good thing considering the bloody idiots in charge currently. 

Haha. I miss him already. 

I’ll update sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes. there is a reference in this chapter. no, i will not tell it.   
> sorry again for failing to update but the good news is that we're about 3/4ths done with this story! (and then I can work on that other thing I want to write....)   
> bad news is that Im switching up the update schedule: I'll update once a week with a single chapter and the days probably aren't going to be consistent but whatever. see you next week, technically


	10. March 30, 1998

March 30, 1998

Well. I found what I’ve been looking for for the past fucking 2 months. The Lodestone of Hogwarts. It’s fucking huge in this chamber. Why did I want to find this thing anyway? It smells like death and long rot down here. 

And how the Hell am I gonna get back to the castle proper. I fell down a hole for this. A. Hole. At least I didn’t break anything when I fell. Also there’s a giant ass dead snake in here?? I think it’s a basilisk… I need venom from it to make a really painful incompetence curse on the Carrows……….and some of their genetic material. Well that plan went to hell. There is no way that I am sneaky enough to nab some of their blood or something. 

It’s

  
  


It’s really cold down here.

.

Im gonna put this down for a bit so I can find my way out, this thing is heavy.

.

.

Delphi. Echo. Nagisa. Riley. River, oh god  _River._ If any of you find this just, just,  _know_ that I love you guys, ok?

In case I die down here like an idiot because I couldn't find my way back. Hahaha. You guys are like the most awesome of friends and I am just so damn worried for you guys. I couldn't bear it without you guys, probably. 

I'm being sentimental and sappy and wasting time by writing to you guys as if this is my last will and testament, but it's just. Im so tired and angry and sad all at the same time and im pretty sure im halfway to having some sort of breakdown at any point in time like my second cousin once removed that Meme talked about when I was small- well, when I was younger than I am now. 

 

I hope that if I find a way out I remember to grab this, though knowing my shitty memory and luck that can't be arsed to stay consistent on whether or not it's good I'll forget it or the way out is one way and I dont want to come back here for a while, ok?

bye, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the next chapter will be *gasp* live action. As in yall get to read what will does when not writing her thoughts down in a crappy tome where she can edit and make past her look better than the dumpster fire that normally happens. haha  
> see you next week. *wonk*


	11. Tis the same day but its liveaction haha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this child needs warm food stat

Will closed her journal and placed it on the ground with a sigh. Her form diminutive to the gigantic statue of Salazar Slytherin that she leaned against. “Well, me, I’ve found out that I have magic-y snake powers. Hip Hip hooray or something. Now how the heck am I gonna get out of this hole of cold and dead snake?” She asked herself sardonically, stretching her arms with a pop that echoed throughout the chamber. “I guess.. I guess I could go around screaming open in snake until a secret passage or something opens?” She continued, shoving herself up and off the ground. “I mean, it’s a better idea than crying into my book like a firstie which I am most definitely not, smugly grinning statue of my founder, so it should work out. Somewhat.” So saying this, Will carefully placed her fancy fountain pen that cost her a galleon at Flourish and Blotts in her first year and  started screaming at the walls to open in parseltongue. 

Will spent a good half hour screaming at the walls before stopping and asking herself whether or not this method of action is Slytherin. After a short counsel with herself, the resounding answer was no spray painted in neon green and silver capital letters across the giant billboard of No Duh in the city of Noticing the Obvious. She slapped her forehead and groaned. “If I was the snake loving co founder of Hogwarts, where would I put the exit to my secret chamber of protect the school with friendly yet deadly snakes?” 

Will considered the chamber for a few minutes. She stood in water that rose to her knees, snakes were carved into most of the pillars, and the entrance to the room that held the Lodestone stood invitingly above all of the water. “Where it could be protected from any potential flooding and in easy access of the key to the wards.” She answered her own question. Smiling at her brilliant answer, Will slogged her way to the room and muscles that she didn’t realize were tensed relaxed when she entered it again. “It’s… warm in here.” She muttered to herself, shaking the water out of her waterlogged legs. It really was, the Lodestone itself towered above her, being at least 10 metres to her measly 1.2, and let off a welcoming warmth with just the slightest hint of acceptance. “Now where’s the way out?”

The walls of the castle itself seemed to have waited for just that sentence of inquiry to be spoken as they opened to reveal a set of staircases that seemed to go on forever. “Huh. That was… surprisingly easy.” Will mumbled, eying the staircase before starting to climb. 

Will had been climbing for what seemed like hours but was really only like 30 minutes when she came across a door. A door decorated in carvings of snakes and people cuddling fiercely in a bed. Which honestly made no sense to Will, but wizards aren’t  _ known _ for being sensical, the rat bastards that keep messing up everything for the fifth  _ goddamn time. _ Everyone knows that the best place to cuddle is in a giant pile of soft, warm things with at least one cat.

Curious, she opened the door. It led out into a lesser used corridor in the dungeons. Will knew this because a dungeon classroom is the best place to hold a study group for History. For whatever reason people kept screaming when she tutored them on how to properly write their history assignments so she started to hold them down here. “That was actually a lot easier than I expected, to be completely honest.” She said to herself. “I’m serious, common sense dictates that that should have been at  _ least _ several times harder to do than it was. Maybe it’s cause that famous dude, Potman or whatever, isn’t here?”

Will stepped out of the passage and closed the door, which immediately blended back into the wall like nothing happened. But when she leaned into the wall for a closer look she noticed several snake decals around where the door should appear. “Neat.” She mumbled. “Now to get some food and change into something _warm!”_ For she was indeed still sopping wet and very cold. 

So finding her new short term goal, Will set off for the Hufflepuff dorms with as much bounce as a 1.2 metre barely 7 stone dripping wet slytherin could bounce in her step. She needed a hot bath and enough Minestrone to drown a rat.


End file.
